His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
