Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
