if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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