You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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