And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Your tits are I can't wait for
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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