Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
