We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize