did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
