she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
