I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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