dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize