I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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