just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
