If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
