I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
