There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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