i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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