I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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