I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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