i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I forget how to act sober
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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