but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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