i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
