I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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