You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
