I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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