It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
