This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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