Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
how does that bad decision feel?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
