That's intense
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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