quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize