U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
