Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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