Soap is not a condiment
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
