period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize