my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
