We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
