Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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