No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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