I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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