this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
