So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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