at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize