The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
