He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
