He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
