The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think i peed on brittanys purse
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
