soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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