I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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