My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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