it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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