TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize