I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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