No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
