dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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