I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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