I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
