The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize