Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
