Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This house was built for laser tag.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize