There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
