so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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