Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
