I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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