I don't think brook has ever known best
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize