You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just had sex on a roof
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
