i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so much tequila, so little girl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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