Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
