Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
